Tell Your Kids to Play It Safe on Spring Break

Among the many things we tell our kids -- brush your teeth, take your vitamins, do your homework, think about where you want to go to college -- we all need to add a discussion on how to play it safe when they are away from home.

And now that they are getting older, we need to be specific, especially as they go on class trips or on spring break.

Marcia Peot, a police officer and Chief Safety Officer at StreetSafe, offers the following safety reminders:

1. Don’t let your guard down. Being on vacation is not an excuse to throw caution to the wind and do something you wouldn’t normally do or put yourself in an unsafe situation.

2. Research the place you are visiting before you go, especially if it’s a foreign country. Find out if there are dangerous areas you should avoid, familiarize yourself with local laws and customs, and know where to go and what to do in case of an emergency.

3. Stay in groups or use the buddy system. You are more of a target when you are by yourself.
A stranger is still a stranger, even on vacation. Do not accept a ride or go off somewhere alone with a person you don’t know.

4. Do not drink excessively. When you are intoxicated, your physical reflexes, awareness of your surroundings, and ability to make decisions become impaired, making you an easy target.
Never leave your drink unattended and do not accept beverages from anyone other than the bartender or waiter.

5. The beaten path is the better path. Stick to populated and well-lit areas, don’t take short cuts, and familiarize yourself with the area before heading out.

6. Make sure your hotel room is locked at all times. Do not advertise your room number, open the door for anyone you are not expecting, or bring strangers back to your room.

We can all remember terrible headlines about spring breaks and other trips that have gone bad. Send these tips to your kids. Even if they just glance at them, they'll be somewhat more aware, somewhat more prepared.

I Wouldn't Want to Be in Vassar Admissions Today

I know mistakes can happen. I know that as wonderful as technology is, it can cause headaches and even heartbreak. Here's an illustration: on Friday afternoon,Vassar sent "congratulations you've been accepted" emails to students who'd applied to the school's via Early Decision II. Except, the email had been a test, a placeholder, that was sent in error. So for about 30 minutes, 76 kids who were not accepted thought they were -- and alerted friends and family. Read here for more of the sad details.

One elated student went back to read the happy news again, and saw that in truth he'd been declined. Of course Vassar is mortified and apologetic, but geez, isn't the admissions process emotionally difficult enough without getting accepted when you've actually been rejected.

It has happened at other schools - this is not a first. But this morning, those disappointed students and their parents will be calling Admissions -- it will be the first time since this all happened Friday that they have been able to scream, cry or try to be rational in speaking with an admissions officer.

I wouldn't want to be on either side of that call. But one thing is almost certain. This sure won't happen again, at least not at Vassar.

Take a Look at these Small Public Universities, Including TCNJ

Most state universities seem so massive. Will attention be paid to an undergraduate? Will a freshman feel lost? Are there public options that offer great resources on a smaller scale?

There are a number of higly ranked smaller public institutions that focus on a liberal arts education. Here's a list of some good ones.

I've heard of most of them, and know good things about St. Mary's (MD), College of Charleston (SC), UNC - Asheville (NC) and the University of Mary Washington (VA). But here was the revelation: The College of New Jersey. I'd read that it was a good school but it wasn't till I looked at its profile and this chart comparing TCNJ to other colleges, private and public, in New Jersey and saw it comes in second after Princeton in SAT scores.

I was surprised and impressed. And I bet there are lots of other good surprises out there. It's just a matter of looking, and not being too restrictive in the college search.

Tracking Costs of College

During the State of the Union address last night, the president spoke about the need to lower interest rates on student loans and urged colleges to figure out how to lower their costs, too.

These are actions beyond the control of families with children heading off to college -- and who knows how long it will take for improvements to occur. But families can take steps to ensure that the college education doesn't turn into a financial nightmare -- or what's more likely, a constant stream of requests for more walking around money from the student followed by agitated texts or calls from home saying enough already.

It all starts with the Discussion: what the family can afford; what level of debt (if any) is acceptable; understanding what it means to take a college loan and how it will affect options post-college; what can the student contribute to defray costs, etc. Teens really must be a part of the conversation -- it will help them on the course to becoming financially responsible adults. And this is true even if the family was able to save enough to cover most college costs.

Then when students learn where they've been accepted and how much financial aid, if any, they have received, having held the Discussion will make it somewhat easier to narrow decisions.

Once students are off to college, they should be responsible for adhering to a budget. Here's a good breakdown of costs of college for one family, including the day-to-day expenses for a freshman. (Note: public college, in the midwest, so figures may not look real to those of us on coasts. But that doesn't matter. It's the tracking that does.)

Learning how to keep a simple budget should be a part of prepping for life away from family.

Thinking Way too Much about SATs, etc.

If you have a junior in the house, it's quite possible you are obsessing about SATs, subject tests, APs -- the whole mess of tests that are just one more hurdle in getting into college. You are probably already sorting through scheduling of tests, too. The SAT in March is the morning after the opening of our school musical -- doesn't seem like propitious timing. So, that means taking the SAT in May, subject tests in June, and quite possibly, the SAT again in the fall. My head aches.

Here's an at-a-glance range of scores that some of the most select colleges are looking for. As the article points out, numerical scores are one consistent way to view applicants. Even if SATs and ACTs still remain an important part of the application, remember one important thing about these ranges: these are the median scores, and 50% of accepted students fall within the range. Another 25% are above, the other 25% below.

Even if we think that these kinds of tests don't really predict that much about the ability to thrive in college (and schools that are dropping the testing requirement seem to think that), they are part of the non-monetary price of admission. So get a tutor or have your child take some SAT classes. At minimum, persuade them to take lots of practice tests at home. Practice may not make perfect in this case, but it sure can help.

Doctor, Help Me! I'm the Parent of a H.S. Junior

Deborah Gaines, a mother of a junior who's mired in some of the same questions and concerns I am, has ably reviewed the neuroses of parents like us, in Huffington Post. I'm sort of embarrassed to see myself reflected, on any given day, in every one of the comments these people have. We're all parents seeking good fit, good name, good value from colleges. On a sane day I say good grief!

As i have been saying to anyone who will listen, I need to be less obsessed. But it isn't that easy to go cold turkey on the college stuff.

Any suggestions on how to help me help myself?

Wise Words for High School Seniors (and Juniors, too)

I thought we could be ahead of the admissions game, visiting colleges early, trying to get a sense of what attracts our teen, and what she hates, about various colleges.

The truth is, our junior's ownership of the process will occur when she's ready, not when I am. No amount of parental guidance makes it happen more quickly or efficiently.

That said, I hope my teen and others read this thoughtful, sensible piece on how to choose the right college the first time.

Meanwhile, I don't suspect there will be any revelations anytime soon. We've got midterms and the school musical taking precedence. But maybe after that?

Early Admission a Rejection Nightmare

Apparently for many years early admission was "owned" by students attending private schools, or, according to The New York Times, early admission was "once the almost exclusive preserve of the East Coast elite."

But the secret got out and the number of early admission applicants has increased by as much as three-fold at some schools. And that has left far more disappointed students this year, particularly in some of the famous New York prep schools.

Another factor contributing to greater numbers of unhappy kids is an increase in international students applying for early decision, who are also willing and able to pay their way without any financial assistance. On the other hand, more public school kids are applying early -- and getting in.

If a student is absolutely sure one school is the school, and there's a reasonable chance for acceptance, by all means, apply early. But as kids learned this year, make sure you're ready to go with the regular decision applications. Given the early admission environment in 2012, it's nearly impossible to believe next year will be any better.

Who's a Candidate for a Gap Year?

With all of the stress that comes with the college admissions process, I can understand why a gap year might be appealing. Here's the thinking on this. You apply, are accepted at a college you like, you send in the deposit and then request a deferral of admission. (You might want to talk to someone at the college first, so that you know the school's policies on this.)

Then the student pursues a dream -- works on a research project. spends time building Habitat homes, finally gets comfortable and competent in the foreign language she has studied for years. It doesn't really matter. In theory, you then go to the college of your choice a semester or a year later really ready to learn.

Gap year has been a topic of discussion at The New York Times college blog. Middlebury's dean of admissions thinks it's a good idea. He thinks a gap year gives a student a greater sense of direction, and that translates into a more dedicated, serious student once the gap year is over and college begins.

Here are more thoughts on this concept.

Parents may not like the idea but it might make sense for a student who has reasonable plans for the gap year -- and who has been accepted and then officially deferred at the college of choice. What's a bad idea? Trying to apply to colleges during a gap year, especially if the student is traveling, or living overseas. It could be a logistical nightmare that turns the gap year into a really bad idea.

Seeking Experts Who'll Help Her Get to College

This is a heartwarming, upbeat story about a young woman in Boston, Nathaly Lopera, who's determined to get to college. She takes an hour long bus ride to school in a wealthy suburb. With extracurricular activities and tutoring at night, she often gets home around 10 p.m., then starts homework.

She's getting advice on SAT strategies, her essays and applications through an organization called Let's Get Ready, which in 2011 has helped 2500 high school students through 63 programs in the Northeast, using more than 1000 college student volunteers.

Let's wish Nathaly all the best. The colleges that select her will be smart; the school she selects will be fortunate.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Despite Crazy Costs, Stats Say the Degree Is Still Worth It

Yes, it is worth it to get a college degree -- the numbers prove it. Here's an overview of studies that confirm the college bonus: each year of college adds about 6-10% of annual income. And people earning higher incomes are more likely to have jobs with good benefits, and that means decent health care coverage that can lead to better health.

Apparently such studies don't always factor in the cost of going to college or those darn loans. Still, whether we like the system or not, there are undeniable advantages that come with the diploma.

College Mom Bloggers -- Sharing the Challenges, Tips and Insights

I'm apparently not the only mom out there who feels the need to share the family's college adventure. There are tons of us -- and now there's a list of the "30 Best College Mom Blogs." I am honored to have made the cut on this list, compiled by Online College Courses.com.

By the way, I also blog for NJ.com, for the Parental Guidance blog collection, on college admissions issues.

Happy reading.

Could It Be, A World That Is SAT-Free?

Wake Forest would rather see students spending their Saturdays doing community service or playing in a youth symphony rather than in tutoring sessions or taking the SAT or ACT. This seems to verge on college admissions heresy.

But the dean of admissions at Wake thinks it's the way to go, as she points out here. It sounds sensible to me, and as we have heard at college information sessions, the GPA is considered a better gauge of college performance than standardized tests.

But for now, most schools still want the scores, and as a result, we want them to be as strong as reasonably possible. I am certainly counting on just one or two takes on the test. Colleges do not like to see, for instance, four sets of scores. And besides, there really are better ways to spend Saturdays.

Meanwhile, our teen has started an online coaching program that emphasizes short, consistent daily prepping rather than several-hour classroom marathons.

We'll see how it goes. What's your thinking on these standardized tests?

Would You Want Your Child to Go to Happy Valley, Land of Moral Blindness?

Penn State does have its share of problems right now -- lack of controls, deficiency in ethics and humanity, some misguided students. Another one is rolling admissions, with the first deadline Nov. 30. Now that we know how many blind eyes exist at that campus, would you want your child to attend?

Here's a discussion of crises and how they affect admissions. Schools like Duke have dealt with messes related to athletics and have seen some admissions drop-off -- but nothing lasting. Others, including Virginia Tech, have seen far more horrific events. They all recover. Penn State will, too. But it does make a parent think.

Do we really know and fully understand how and why colleges act? Why Virginia Tech waited so long to alert students to a killer on the loose? Why no one at Penn State followed through on terrible accusations?

Maybe the punch list of what our children (and we) are looking for in a college should include how the administration responds to serious, possibly life-threatening, events. Or whether there is a pattern of putting athletics first. So search major papers that would cover the school. See if you can discover whether the schools seem to be run by good and rational people who put students and academics first, who set strong ethical and moral standards.

It just might make you feel better, or force you to suggest your child think through college options a little more carefully.

Crazy yet? Helpful reminders during admissions stress

There must be thousands of college admissions myths out there. And every fall, as applications are being filled out, an updated version appears. I am a sucker for these lists -- and I can either feel smug about knowing it all or occasionally learn something.

Here's the latest myth collection from a good education blog at The Washington Post -- and to make sure the myths were accurate, I asked admissions officers from a public and a private university to vet them. They thought the list was solid, even if one of the admissions people felt most parents already know the truth behind the myths.

The first myth -- It’s best to set your heart on one school and really go for it -- is, of course, clearly wrong. But the explanation of why it's a myth raises a point I've been thinking about. Do you tell your friends and the family beyond your home where you are applying, or is it easier to keep it to yourself?

If I were in high school, I'd go for the zipped lips school. Have your reaches, targets, safeties -- and be able to explain to myself, parents and guidance counselor why I've chosen them, but beyond that I'd keep it to myself. The pressure's high enough without worrying about what friends will think if you don't get into the colleges you'd aspired to attend.

The one other myth that fear suckers me into believing is cost -- that everyone pays, except for a few brilliant or deserving applicants, the price listed in the brochure. Just ain't so. The average student pays just 42 percent of the so-called sticker price, based on formulas related to merit and need.

Whew! Now, just have to wait 17 months or so to see if that's true. But who's counting?

Wrapping Up the Common App?

Well, you are not alone. It is expected that 3 million students will apply to 463 colleges and universities that use the Common App. That's up from 2.39 million in the 2010-2011 cycle -- and we thought that was a bad year!

Here are some tips from the director of Common Application, Inc. Some of the points deal with deadlines for various documents that need to accompany the Common App. But the first reminder is about something that has caused problems in the past -- the essay. Be sure to preview the essay before sending it; make sure your length is within the 250-500 word guidelines. It will get cut off if it exceeds the length, even by a few words. And that won't look good to colleges that will expect, at minimum, that students can follow directions.

And there is help when you run into trouble. The Common App has a support team available to answer students' questions - and team members generally get back to students within 35 minutes.

But don't test that system by waiting an hour before your deadline to discover that you have a question that needs an answer right away. That might be the ticket to bad news. Schools are deadly serious about deadlines.

Don't Make These Mistakes on the College Application

There's little you probably haven't already heard from counselors, books, online sources about the college application process. But here are some that are worth mentioning to your kids, from Unigo's panel of experts.

According to them, some of the less obvious mistakes include:
-- discrepancies between any self-reported grades, scores and those of official reports
-- writing samples that are so polished and perfect, with not-so-hot scores and grades in English
-- disciplinary problems included in the high school transcript but not explained elsewhere
-- a version of a lawyer's excessive/impossible billable hours: extracurricular activities that, when added up, would leave no time for homework, classes or sleep. The example given was a student who claims to do crew 20 hours a week and jazz band 20 hours a week

Nearly all the experts interviewed emphasized the need to proofread, though one said she'd heard that some admissions people like to see a typo or two -- it indicates the kid did the application by himself without adult supervision.

Now that sounds like a comment that should be ignored. Mistakes are not the way to demonstrate authenticity, that quality so sought by colleges.

I also blog on college issues at nj.com, Parental Guidance.

Let's Review Decision Plans

Maybe because we haven't lived through the admissions process yet, I have difficulty keeping certain facts in my head, such as the difference between early decision and early action. So here's a quick review. And you can also look at the College Board explanation here.

Think of admissions as non-restrictive and restrictive.

Non-restrictive plans have no strings attached. You can apply to as many colleges as you wish and don't have to commit until May 1.

These include Regular Decision (apply in January, learn about the decision between mid March and April); Rolling Admission (applications are reviewed as they arrive and then decisions are sent either as soon as possible or on specified dates); and Early Action (apply by an earlier deadline and receive a decision earlier than the usual date).

This approach makes sense for most students. It means more time to apply; allows colleges to see first-semester senior year grades; enables families to compare all acceptances and financial packages; and gives the student a few weeks to decide where to attend.

Restrictive plans include Early Decision (apply to just one college and agree to a binding commitment to attend if accepted; usually apply in November, learn outcome in December; if accepted, all other applications must be withdrawn) and Restrictive Early Actionn (apply early to only one college but the student is not committed to attend; usually apply in November, learn in December; don't have to make decsion till May 1 but not offered by many schools).

Early decision makes sense only if the student, without a doubt, knows that College A is the first choice. This can be one of the most competitive cycles for admission, but colleges also like to see students so interested that they are willing to commit. This is not a smart approach if you are seeking financial aid.

Hope this helps.

I also blog on college issues at nj.com, Parental Guidance.

Fiske Speaks - We All Listen

The Atlantic recently ran an ambitious series on college admissions-related topics. I immediately gravitated to the interview with Edward Fiske, editor of the most popular and most well-thought-of college guide, Fiske Guide to Colleges.

Fiske begins the interview by stating that the biggest mistake parents make, at least in the beginning of the process, is not understanding the importance of "fit." We're too worried about our kids getting into the prestigious school -- whether it's the right school for our kids is not important.

Changing one's mindset isn't easy. And unfortunately the US News & World Report college rankings play right into that sort of thinking. As he puts it, these rankings answer the question, "What's the best college?" But the question should be, "What's the best college for me?" He gives kudos for the amount of data collected for the reports, but suggests that it would be much better if the data were used by a student who had his own weighting system.

The good news he shared? Fiske thinks that colleges are doing a far better job orienting kids to college through special programs and seminars. And he has found that colleges as a whole are paying far more attention to undergraduate research.

Nobody's bragging about party schools anymore. Now that's a huge improvement!

Finally, Good News About Some Colleges' Costs

I've got to hand it to Seton Hall University. It has figured out a way to gain some positive headlines, enhance the quality of its student body and demonstrate that maybe the cost of attending college doesn't have to rise every blessed year.

Here's the story. If candidates for admission to the Hall have a combined 1200 on the SAT in math and verbal and graduate in the top 10 percent of their class, they will be eligible to pay about $10,000 in tuition -- in direct competition with the cost of Rutgers -- at a savings of $21,000 over the usual Seton Hall tuition. If the student maintains a 3.0 average each year, that reduced rate will remain in effect throughout their time at SHU.

My questions: if it is that easy to lower tuition, why don't richer schools do it? And, a related question, will other students' fees go up to subsidize this new program?

But wait, here's another innovative concept, at Randolph-Macon College. Randy Mac now offers a guarantee of graduation in four years. Here are the stipulations: the student has to keep up with coursework, meet with advisers (and not change their major senior year, or take a year off, etc.) If so, the college guarantees graduation in four years -- and if a needed course isn't available or bad advice is given, the school will foot the bill for the courses needed to graduate.

This is a big deal, since today only 80% of students in private colleges graduate in four years; the number goes down to 50% for public colleges. So when the four years are exceeded, it's that much more for tuition, that much more in loans.

There is a sense of grandstanding about both schools' actions -- but maybe we need more gestures of this sort to get us all thinking about how this college cost thing might be dealt with more creatively.

Any ideas?