Sophomores Look Ahead to All Important Junior Year

One of the guidance counselors at our high school shares what she is telling sophomores now as they begin thinking ahead to next year.

“It is important that students choose their classes carefully for their junior year. They should discuss with their teachers the right levels to take. And they should work at the most difficult level at which they can experience success.”

On their own, she says, they should start considering their summer activities. “If they have an idea about what they are interested in studying, they should begin exploring summer programs. Many are listed in Naviance. Summers are also a good time to seek employment and volunteer work.”

Finally, she reminds us about something we've discussed before -- something that can be done now to ease possible headaches down the road. “Sophomores should be listing all of their activities, honors, awards, athletics, volunteer work and employment now in the resume builder in their personal Naviance accounts. This will greatly ease some of the burden of the application process during senior year.”

And as always, the College Board has specific advice for sophomores. So there you have it -- more homework for sophomores.

A Postponed and Evolving Post about Girls/ Are We Giving Them the Right Stuff

It all started a few weeks ago when I was looking at a Bloomberg Business Week. I flipped through about 15 pages in a not particularly thick publication before I found a woman -- any woman -- in anything other than ads. I had looked at page after page of mostly white men who were heads of companies or serving on boards and wondered why more women weren't on these pages.

I had gotten this far when our daughter saw what I was writing and told me this wasn't really related to college admissions. I thought that maybe she was right, so I put it aside.

The post is back, after I read some facts backing up my concern. In the current issue of the same magazine, an article asks, Business Plan Contests: Where Are the Women?" It's about contests for student entrepreneurs, of which there are about 100 in the U.S. Apparently only about 20 percent of the entries are from women.

Entrepreneurship experts blame a lack of confidence and bluster, fear of risk and an ongoing lack of women in engineering. And guess where the problem starts! With us, in our girls' childhood. As one woman says, "You have to be able to toot your horn in a way that we're not seeing women doing." We don't seem to teach that skill to girls.

Some of these competitions are now focusing on increasing women's participation. Meanwhile, what can we do as parents to ensure that our daughters are ready, and eager, to take chances in their careers? What can we do to let them see and grasp options that go beyond the standard "girl" choices.

I can't believe we still must ask these questions in 2011.

Help from an Expert on Financial Aid Questions

Here's a seven-part series, a financial aid Q&A that, if you are patient in reading through it, you are bound to find useful.

It looks at a number of issues related to the FAFSA as well as more arcane financial aid questions.

One thing we should all remember: if financial circumstances change (loss of job, substantial decrease in salary or loss of a minor's Social Security benefits when he turns 18, for example) it is difficult to make this clear on the FAFSA form, particularly if the event occurs mid-year and is not reflected in tax forms. That's when you call the financial aid office of a school your child is interested in or has been accepted by. And you ask for a professional judgment review, aka a special circumstances review or financial aid appeal. Once the college has the required documentation of this change in situation, it will make an adjustment to the FAFSA form. By the way, colleges are not required to make this adjustment but have been strongly encouraged to do so, in a letter from the Department of Education.

Happy reading!

There's Value in Old-Fashioned Science Fairs

I've decried the lack of research paper assignments. Today my old fogey remarks are related to science fairs.

President Obama recently said that science fair winners should be celebrated just as much as Super Bowl winners. Science fairs seem to die out after middle school. We need them in high schools. These fairs, for decades, enabled students who might not have considered themselves scientist material to think about science as a career. Michele Glidden, of the nonprofit Society for Science & the Public, said, "Science fairs develop skills that reach down to everybody's lives, whether you want to be a scientist or not."

Of course, one of the reasons the fairs are becoming so rare is that teens are too busy doing other things to help them get into college -- and yet the fundamentals learned in doing these projects might help them be more successful students and more engaged citizens than some of the other activities. And, these fairs help students get excited about science in ways that classroom learning just can't elicit.

My high school didn't have science fairs. That was a pity. Our daughter will be participating in one later this spring -- a group endeavor. So not only will she gain more knowledge about the subject but she and her peers will also gain more experience in collaboration.

Metacognition -- Useful Skill or Just Hokum?

As parent of a sophomore, I am most interested (right now) in making certain our daughter has the learning skills she needs to succeed in school, college and life. That's why I am intrigued when I read about techniques to help students learn and study.

I am currently fascinated by metacognition, defined, at least by one source, as awareness or analysis of one's own learning or thinking processes. Here's some background on the subject, which opens with a tantalizing question: "Why do some students in a course perform better than others of roughly equal ability?" the article describes discussions on the topic at the recent annual meeting of the Association of American Colleges and Universities.

By the time kids get to college, you would hope that they know how to learn. We all know that isn't true, and I can sympathize with professorsa who want to focus on content, not how- to-study-seminars. So, is there anything to this? I don't know, but while I was investigating the subject I found this list of questions based on metacognition fundamentals.

I may use some of them to keep me on course when I am trying to sort through a project or assignment. I'm all for anything that brings clarity -- and self-awareness, even now.

Some Straightforward Guidance on Admissions

One of the benefits of blogging is that I look at so many other writers, whether in blogs, print or even TV. I am especially impressed with work I see on the Patch, the online news platform backed by AOL that can be found across the country, dispensing local news and prompting discussion.

Here's a two-part discussion on admissions from the Annapolis, MD, Patch -- from the private and public school perspectives.

I found the private school counselor had the most interesting, commonsense points. And I also learned about an organization I didn't know about: the Education Conservancy, which describes itself as "a non-profit organization committed to improving college admission processes for students, colleges and high schools." Be sure to read its manifesto, offering guidance for students and parents.

Wall Street Recruiters' Shallow Field of Vision

Here's some commentary from The Atlantic on the issue of why Wall Street primarily seems to hire Ivy graduates.

What does that have to do with the undergraduate application process? Well, I think it has something to do with why kids want the most highly selective/big name schools. They perceive advantages that are economic and prestigious. As the piece points out, there are just as bright kids in other schools, but it's easier to recruit from a handful of places, rather than having to travel all over the country looking for those who might make the cut.

It's all crazy. But it is also how the game is played, at least now. So how should we advise our teens when increasingly the ability to make a living plays into decisions our teenagers have to make about colleges?

How Long Does It Take To Graduate from College?

In New Jersey, it takes a long time.

The chances of getting out of college in four years is 50/50. At schools like Montclair State, Kean University and William Paterson, not even a third of the students gain their bachelors' degrees in four years.

That's part of the findings of a Star-Ledger analysis of graduation rates from 27 schools in the state.

These are scary statistics, especially since some students seem to be fighting a vicious economic circle. Sometimes it is because the students are working long hours to pay for their education, causing them to spread out classes. In other cases, the schools, due to cutbacks, offer fewer courses and it takes longer for students to get the requisite courses for their majors. Or it costs them more as they try to take needed classes in the summer or over winter break.

The economic side of this story is reinforced by specific numbers: 90 percent of Princeton undergrads graduate in four years, Rutgers comes in at 49 percent and at New Jersey City University, in Jersey City, only six percent of freshmen graduate four years later.

And these are 2008 figures. The numbers are probably getting worse -- though some students may have had greater economic incentive to have finished on time because there was simply no money to prolong the undergraduate experience.

I wonder, in a highly competitive job market, if an employer might not prefer a student who finished in four years rather than someone who took five or six. Unfairly or not, the undergrad who took longer may look less ambitious, more like a dawdler.

What do other states' graduation rates look like? I don't know, but here in the Garden State, our college kids are not flourishing.

How Can We Help Our Children Feel Better about Themselves?

It's never good to worry and stew. It's never good to be depressed. But somehow it's even worse when it's a young person who's affected.

Two friends pointed out this article to me. It's about the emotional health of college freshmen -- the lowest it has been in 25 years, when the annual survey was started.

These students -- only 52 percent of whom feel their emotional health is above average -- come to campus under stress. Some are even already taking medication to ease their pain. The economy isn't helping, as they worry about the cosst of college, their own diminished outlooks for jobs and the debt they have taken on to get an education that may not land them any job, let alone a fulfilling (and maybe even decently paying) position.

What's even more upsetting to me as the mother of a girl is that the gap between boys' and girls' emotional health is widening -- and not in the girls' favor. They were more likely to seek help from campus professionals than boys -- but they were also less likely to do the activities that might ease stress, such as sports and exercise and more likely to do volunteer work, help out their families, activities which may not help with stress relief.

And I found this comment by one of the researchers equally upsetting. "Women’s sense of emotional well-being was more closely tied to how they felt the faculty treated them,” she said. “It wasn’t so much the level of contact as whether they felt they were being taken seriously by the professor. If not, it was more detrimental to women than to men.”

She added: “And while men who challenged their professor’s ideas in class had a decline in stress, for women it was associated with a decline in well-being.”

The economy will recover, though there will be long-term ramifications that will greatly affect our children's futures. But what I want to know is why our girls still feel this way in the classroom, the way I sometimes did decades ago.

Thanks to Andrea Axelrod and Amy Engel for passing this news along.

Do You Know Where Your Teens Will Be This Summer? Part 2

Yesterday we heard the parent perspective on how their teens will spend the summer. Now, three professionals speak. First, an admissions officer.

She states at the beginning what our panelists already figured out. "As long as the student is doing something productive, we have no preference for how the summer is spent."

Then she adds, "There are some activities that are going to be more notable than others. Highly selective programs that don’t require the student to pay are impressive. (In New Jersey, Governor’s School and the New Jersey Scholars Program come to mind.) We also love to see students who work full time in a less-than-glamorous job, particularly if those jobs are a big contrast to their normal, upper-middle-class suburban lives. In fact, when I give info sessions, I often say 'look for a job.' (I used to say 'get a job' but given the economy, that’s not always easy.)

She also pointed out, "More and more students are doing research or doing college summer programs these days. While those activities are useful for the students, I think there’s a sense that they’re going to impress us more than other activities, and they don’t.

"Finally, we essentially ignore all those national leadership forum opportunities, People to People, etc. There’s nothing wrong with them, but they’re not all that competitive and of no greater value than other experiences. That’s not to say that the experiences can’t be enriching for the student; they’re just not that unusual."

Linda Auld, of Suburban Learning Center, recommends summer standardized test tutoring for students who need more than testing strategies: "So it's really remediation in reading comprehension, writing skills, or math concepts which will help them with the SAT or ACT but more importantly will help them develop the skills they will need to do well in their academic classes. I often use the idea that we are 'prepping' for the SAT/ACT to motivate high school students to work on academic skill development."

Now, from a high school teacher's perspective. Lauren Fazio says, "Since I teach writing, many of my seniors come to me for help with their applications, more specifically the short answer sections. I did see one college (it was definitely an Ivy, but I don't remember which one) that explicitly asked the question, "What did you do last summer?" My student was able to talk about a church retreat, a class she took, and books she's read -- definitely more personal than the other questions, and shows an active applicant. I think that's the bottom line--as
long as they do something.

"But, I still think this is prime time to explore options and paths
they might want to revisit later, not just for an impressive resume
(though that's always nice) but for something to talk about in an
interview, write about in a common app short answer, or nurture as a
passion later.

"They might learn from being a camp counselor that they want to teach young children (or DON'T want to teach young children). Or if they volunteer in a
hospital, they may learn how to care for others--a skill that extends
far past hospital walls. Or if they take a photography class, they
may develop a passion (and a portfolio to show colleges later). At
the very least, any of these avenues will give them something to say
when colleges ask, in writing or in person, 'What significant event or
activity has changed your life?' And with so many demands on
them during the school year, summer is a great time to devote the
hours. They're less likely to resent the hours they spend doing
something that, without the resentment, they may end up loving."

One final comment from our admissions officer panelist. "One thing I have noticed is that it’s hard to quickly find what the student has done in the summer, given the way the Common Application is structured. The only way we know what’s a summer activity is by the length of time (# hrs/# weeks) spent on the activity and if the student actually tells us. I would love to see the summer separated from the overall list, but that’s just my personal preference."

Summers do matter -- but there are many ways to make them worthwhile, fulfilling and fun for our teens, as well as attractive to colleges.

Do You Know Where Your Teens Will Be This Summer? Part 1

It's snowing here in New Jersey, but the pressure is already on (well, I feel it, anyway) to begin making plans for the summer. Educational, test prep, volunteer work, jobs? I asked the Mom's College Cram Course panel for thoughts on how teens should spend their summer vacations.

Today we'll hear from parents; tomorrow, from the professionals.

Kim Cook makes it simple. "Summer job, summer job, summer job! Preferably one they start during sophomore or even freshman summer and stick with to the end of high school. Doesn't matter how lowly - scooping ice cream imparts just as many valuable skills and life lessons as a fancy expensive program in some exotic locale. They learn how to deal with people good and bad, to be responsible for time and money (theirs and someone else's). They may learn what jobs they DON'T want to settle for down the road! Returning a second summer, or working part time through the school year, shows consistency and the added responsibilities look good on their resume."

Jeanne Hogle's children are following a similar path. Her daughter, a junior, will start off her summer with a 10-day medical conference in Philadelphia for teens interested in entering the medical field. It's an expensive 10-day seminar, which she is paying for herself through a school-year job, where she will likely work after the seminar. She will also volunteer at her church.

Her son, a sophomore, will also volunteer at church and is intent on finding a job. But Jeanne also wants to figure out ways to keep him motivated and on track, and is also thinking about SAT prep.

Sarah Wohlenhaus said her daughter will mix work and volunteer efforts, continuing at a summer camp again and possibly doing something with the Habitat for Humanity group in this area.

Tina Squyres says her family philosophy, given the stresses of the school year and how little free time our kids have, is to allow their daughters to do something that recharges their batteries and enables them to do something out of the ordinary. "Both of my kids have had very different ideas about what that is," she added.

"My older daughter participated in the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth (CTY) summer programs and really loved them. She also did non-CTY engineering and medical programs since she was interested in the two careers. That was very helpful in her opinion because she realized that she liked the science behind engineering but not the application. The medical program also solidified her interest in pursuing a career in medicine. Their younger daughter has opted for travel and performing arts programs.

Tina also pointed out that both daughters are required to work the summer after senior year of high school to earn money for college expenses. "My oldest daughter did, and enjoyed it, but I think her experiences during the previous summers were invaluable to her maturation."

As Jeanne said in conclusion, "I really do not know if it makes any difference if they attend a program, go to camp, or work. With the exception of the 'goofing-off' option, I think any activity, showing an interest in SOMETHING, is a positive."

Understanding What Drives Us Crazy about Our Teens

Teens. The teen brain. Teen moods. Teen inconsistencies. Oh, and the "You don't understand..." line. The New Yorker ran a cartoon recently. Mom in teen girl's room, saying to her daughter: "It's you who don't understand me -- I've been fifteen, but you have never been forty-eight."

Aside from the laugh, here's my take-away. We all survive the teen years and most of us turn out all right. And teens simply cannot know (or appreciate) what they have not experienced or witnessed. They don't know the trouble we've seen. (And that is okay, too.)

I am an eclectic reader of periodicals. Around the time of that cartoon, I also read a well-done piece, "What's Really Going On Inside Your Teen's Head", in Parade.

Scientists are now looking at why teens seem to forget what they once knew; why they can be so bright and yet so clueless; and why all that sleep really is necessary. Read the article. It just might help.

Taking the Chances that Help Us All Grow

Despite being class president one year in high school, and enjoying speaking in front of large groups, I always felt shy in social situations, and even about speaking up in class. As a result I missed out on some exceptional chances for growth.

I've been thinking about some times when I was shy -- and then uncharacteristically bold -- over the past few days. It was prompted by the obituary of Reynolds Price, called "one of the major voices of modern Southern literature". He taught at Duke, but I never had the nerve to try to take one of his classes. Later I realized that two favorite writers, Anne Tyler, from my hometown of Baltimore, and Josephine Humphreys, from my favorite city, Charleston, SC, both studied with him. I would not have reached their levels, but oh, to have learned from him!

By the end of junior year, I was not about to miss another significant opportunity. So I interviewed for a place in a seminar run by Eugene Patterson, who had won a Pulitzer for his Atlanta Constitution editorials in strong support of racial equality. He had also been managing editor of The Washington Post at the time the Pentagon Papers were published. I got into the seminar, worked hard, and wrote my heart out for him. It was the best class of my four years.

As a finale to my boldness, I invited him to speak at my sorority and then my roommate Rachel and I asked him to join us for dinner in our dumpy off-campus apartment. He graciously accepted, and we had a not-too-bad from scratch dinner made in our tiny kitchen alcove. And we served what had to have been terrible wine, in tiny little wineglasses that might have held sherry in my grandmother's home. Still, it was a splendid evening, and I felt grown-up.

Mr. Patterson, thank you for sharing your wisdom, and your kindness.

Here's to breaking out of what we think is comfortable; often, it's when we take chances that we can make real differences in our own lives. But I am still the parent of a teen -- so let me suggest to her that measured, well-thought chances are the way to go -- at least for a little longer.

Getting Ready for Midterms -- Two Things to Remember

Our teen is facing midterms next week. For all students with tests or SATs in their future, here's a hint.

Before the test, write down your worst fears; express your concerns; get it out of your system. So say researchers from the University of Chicago in a study on how to help students who panic or freeze before an exam.

"Writing about their worries allows the students to reexamine the testing situation and reappraise it," said the lead researcher. "This frees memory resources and increases the ability to focus."

I would have thought it would be counterproductive to confront the fears right before a test. But a psychology professor not involved in the study said that that "Putting your thoughts and feelings down has been shown to increase emotional and even physical well-being," much like writing the blues.

Now, the real question might be, why even bother to test? As reported in The New York Times, another study has found that testing, not studying, is what really makes the concepts stick.

So, dear students preparing for midterms, there is a solid reason for testing, beyond grades and torture.

Building the College Prospect List -- Is It Possible to Find the Perfect Fit?

Or is it a crap shoot, as it was for me? As I have related before, my college selection process was not the least bit strategic, was scarcely tailored to my interests and lacked much adult guidance, though I had plenty of moral support.

I had blossomed in my all-girls (public) high school and thought the blossoming might continue if I went to an all-girls college. But I did not get into the one I wanted (and didn't know anything about demonstrated interest back then, or I would have demonstrated tons of interest). Nonetheless, I was accepted by Duke and received a fine education. But was it a perfect fit? Probably not.

Here's an interesting discussion on finding the right college. Frankly, perfect fit is a romantic notion that has little place in this overly competitive, everyone looking at the same 25 schools environment. So if the college your teen lands in doesn't seem, at first, the right one, ask yourself a few questions. At 17 or 18, how many teens really know what they want? And isn't part of growing up making a situation work for you?

That said, our sophomore has promised to start compiling a list of colleges that might hold interest and then looking at them on Naviance and in college guides to see if they should remain on the list.

Is the Common Application a Blessing or a Curse?

It depends, as is the case with much of life. Students believe it has made life easier -- one application for many of the schools they are interested in. Schools are thrilled because they get more applications when it becomes easier to apply -- and that means they can demonstrate lower acceptance rates, the artificial but widely acknowledged sign of a selective school.

Georgetown, however, receives fewer applications than its peers -- a deliberate tactic. Charles Deacon, dean of undergraduate admissions at Georgetown, doesn't think applicant pools are necessarily stronger just because a college may take a small percentage of students. Georgetown has opted, in essence, to look at the students most interested in it, proved by their willingness to take the time and thought to handle an uncommon application.

Georgetown also requires a personal interview for almost everyone -- something other schools can't do because of the high numbers. In addition, Georgetown does not talk with for-hire college counselors, preferring to keep the process between student and college.

Why does Deacon take this approach? He says it enables Georgetown to be “an institution that seems to have a soul, that seems to have a rationale for behaving in the public interest.”

Sounds good to me.

One Last, Reasoned, Reaction to "Chinese Mothers"

OK, so I feel a bit suckered on the Amy Chua/Chinese mothers bit. She actually relented, as seen here, and in the end, did not fully raise her children the way she described in her Wall Street Journal essay written, I am sure, to pique interest in her book.

But just to complete our end of this discussion, two Mom's College Cram Course panelists had some thoughtful comments on the issue.

From Kim Cook. "The only observations I'd offer after 20 years spent parenting two very different kids is that a single approach doesn't work for every kid. I was a pretty laid back mother except on issues of character. While they were exposed to the higher arts - classical music, good films, great books - we also let them absorb popular culture as much as was reasonable. My belief was that to become a well-rounded, well-adjusted person it was just as important to have an understanding and appreciation for the world they live in. They were 'hip' to everything their peers were 'hip' to, so they felt in sync, part of the pack. That was good for their confidence. I think this helped her become a social leader. For my son, it gave him the groundwork for a future career in new media and graphic design.

Then Kim talks about some periods during parenthood that I know we have all lived through: the words that should never have been spoken, the anger that seemed not to match the issue at hand.

"The few times during their childhood when I was not on my game, when I lost it and said things I shouldn't have, when I got into virtual spitting contests instead of taking the higher, more mature road, were times I wish I could take back. A house full of resentment, frustration, anger and bad vibes as a parent and child engage in corrosive arguments, like Amy describes in vivid detail in her accounting of the piano incident, is a bad place to be for all involved. Yes, you might get what you want out of the child by the time you've crushed their spirit, but is all that poisonous air worth it?"

And Kim also points out a parental activity I am sometimes guilty of: interference when the playing out of the problem or action is probably the best learning tool.

"One technique I really like, and wish I'd used more of, is letting the consequences of an action play out rather than rushing to 'fix' it either pre-emptively or afterwards. It's one of the hardest things as a parent to do - let your child stumble - but from what I've seen that's the best way for a lesson to sink in. I think it's good when kids 'own' their actions, good and bad - life itself can be the best lecturer!"

Barbara Rosamilia sees both sides of the issue. "I think the Chinese have a proven approach to parenting and it seems to really work,although I think there is a middle ground. I certainly would not call a child a name, as Amy suggested she did. However, I really like the concept of the kids owing the parents. I think so many Western kids believe they are entitled to a college education and they do not appreciate how much it costs."

And here's what I think. Children and teens must learn to make decisions on their own, in order to become responsible, caring adults. And yes, they must learn about consequences -- something difficult to do if everything is mapped out. And we all need a balance of work and fun, especially as the race to college heats up. We need to know how to guide, not torture; we need to remember how to enjoy time together, not turn each moment into a lecture or litany of reminders.

"Chinese Mothers" Essay -- You'll Be Shocked, Or Applaud

"Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" is an essay that is making the rounds of moms, blogs, everybody. It appeared in The Wall Street Journal about a week ago. Yes, it's provocative. It also includes some commonsense advice we may all buy into, even if we don't follow it.

But the points that will catch your attention are: no playdates, no sports, hours of music practice each night, no computer games, no grade less than an A except in gym and drama, and so on.

The author, Amy Chua, suggests that Westerners don't believe their children can do certain things, or that their self-esteem will suffer if they can't do the task well. So parents let them off the hook, instead of demanding they practice or study until they succeed. Her argument is that the getting there may be tough, but if kids keep at something, they will eventually be good at it, and therefore enjoy it, because now they will be praised and rewarded for their skills.

This is over-simplified. Be sure to read the essay itself.

States Deal with the Out-of-State Conundrum

I understand the economic and emotional issues related to the number of out-of-state students accepted by state schools.

A Virginia legislator has an idea. He wants to limit the number of non-Virginia students accepted to the state's schools to no more than 25 percent. The upside: more Virginia students (straight A, high test score kids who today are rejected) will attend. The downside: the state loses money because non-state students pay roughly three times as much as their Virginia classmates. Today, some of the schools in the system take as many as 40 percent out-of-staters.

Unfortunately, diversity would fall victim if Virgina and other states followed this course. And one of the great joys of college is meeting people from all over the country, and gaining insights from their different perspectives.

I was curious about our state's main university, Rutgers. Only 13 percent of its students aren't from New Jersey. I wonder if that is by choice, or because some states' schools just attract more out-of-state students than others.

Teach Personal Finance in High School, Please

I was almost wrong. Good thing I checked.

Prompted by a New York Times column about a college offering a course in personal finance, I was all set to rail about it being too late in college to teach such things, that it ought to be done in high school. And then I was going to rail about the lack of such a course at our high school.

But our school offers a course that "provides students with practical knowledge and confidence to address many of the complex financial problems of daily living." That includes going to college (I hope there is a section on college loans and their implications), living independently, budgeting a paycheck, understanding taxes and completing a federal tax return.

It just seems to me that kids need to understand this stuff. It would be particularly useful for teens to understand not only the options for financing college, but also why their parents may not be able to fund all college expenses.

Sometimes financial sacrifices (for parents today, or students when they are on their own, paying off loans) make sense. Sometimes they don't. Greater financial literacy may help teens understand why these college-funding decisions are so difficult.