Crazy yet? Helpful reminders during admissions stress

There must be thousands of college admissions myths out there. And every fall, as applications are being filled out, an updated version appears. I am a sucker for these lists -- and I can either feel smug about knowing it all or occasionally learn something.

Here's the latest myth collection from a good education blog at The Washington Post -- and to make sure the myths were accurate, I asked admissions officers from a public and a private university to vet them. They thought the list was solid, even if one of the admissions people felt most parents already know the truth behind the myths.

The first myth -- It’s best to set your heart on one school and really go for it -- is, of course, clearly wrong. But the explanation of why it's a myth raises a point I've been thinking about. Do you tell your friends and the family beyond your home where you are applying, or is it easier to keep it to yourself?

If I were in high school, I'd go for the zipped lips school. Have your reaches, targets, safeties -- and be able to explain to myself, parents and guidance counselor why I've chosen them, but beyond that I'd keep it to myself. The pressure's high enough without worrying about what friends will think if you don't get into the colleges you'd aspired to attend.

The one other myth that fear suckers me into believing is cost -- that everyone pays, except for a few brilliant or deserving applicants, the price listed in the brochure. Just ain't so. The average student pays just 42 percent of the so-called sticker price, based on formulas related to merit and need.

Whew! Now, just have to wait 17 months or so to see if that's true. But who's counting?

Wrapping Up the Common App?

Well, you are not alone. It is expected that 3 million students will apply to 463 colleges and universities that use the Common App. That's up from 2.39 million in the 2010-2011 cycle -- and we thought that was a bad year!

Here are some tips from the director of Common Application, Inc. Some of the points deal with deadlines for various documents that need to accompany the Common App. But the first reminder is about something that has caused problems in the past -- the essay. Be sure to preview the essay before sending it; make sure your length is within the 250-500 word guidelines. It will get cut off if it exceeds the length, even by a few words. And that won't look good to colleges that will expect, at minimum, that students can follow directions.

And there is help when you run into trouble. The Common App has a support team available to answer students' questions - and team members generally get back to students within 35 minutes.

But don't test that system by waiting an hour before your deadline to discover that you have a question that needs an answer right away. That might be the ticket to bad news. Schools are deadly serious about deadlines.

Don't Make These Mistakes on the College Application

There's little you probably haven't already heard from counselors, books, online sources about the college application process. But here are some that are worth mentioning to your kids, from Unigo's panel of experts.

According to them, some of the less obvious mistakes include:
-- discrepancies between any self-reported grades, scores and those of official reports
-- writing samples that are so polished and perfect, with not-so-hot scores and grades in English
-- disciplinary problems included in the high school transcript but not explained elsewhere
-- a version of a lawyer's excessive/impossible billable hours: extracurricular activities that, when added up, would leave no time for homework, classes or sleep. The example given was a student who claims to do crew 20 hours a week and jazz band 20 hours a week

Nearly all the experts interviewed emphasized the need to proofread, though one said she'd heard that some admissions people like to see a typo or two -- it indicates the kid did the application by himself without adult supervision.

Now that sounds like a comment that should be ignored. Mistakes are not the way to demonstrate authenticity, that quality so sought by colleges.

I also blog on college issues at nj.com, Parental Guidance.

Let's Review Decision Plans

Maybe because we haven't lived through the admissions process yet, I have difficulty keeping certain facts in my head, such as the difference between early decision and early action. So here's a quick review. And you can also look at the College Board explanation here.

Think of admissions as non-restrictive and restrictive.

Non-restrictive plans have no strings attached. You can apply to as many colleges as you wish and don't have to commit until May 1.

These include Regular Decision (apply in January, learn about the decision between mid March and April); Rolling Admission (applications are reviewed as they arrive and then decisions are sent either as soon as possible or on specified dates); and Early Action (apply by an earlier deadline and receive a decision earlier than the usual date).

This approach makes sense for most students. It means more time to apply; allows colleges to see first-semester senior year grades; enables families to compare all acceptances and financial packages; and gives the student a few weeks to decide where to attend.

Restrictive plans include Early Decision (apply to just one college and agree to a binding commitment to attend if accepted; usually apply in November, learn outcome in December; if accepted, all other applications must be withdrawn) and Restrictive Early Actionn (apply early to only one college but the student is not committed to attend; usually apply in November, learn in December; don't have to make decsion till May 1 but not offered by many schools).

Early decision makes sense only if the student, without a doubt, knows that College A is the first choice. This can be one of the most competitive cycles for admission, but colleges also like to see students so interested that they are willing to commit. This is not a smart approach if you are seeking financial aid.

Hope this helps.

I also blog on college issues at nj.com, Parental Guidance.

Fiske Speaks - We All Listen

The Atlantic recently ran an ambitious series on college admissions-related topics. I immediately gravitated to the interview with Edward Fiske, editor of the most popular and most well-thought-of college guide, Fiske Guide to Colleges.

Fiske begins the interview by stating that the biggest mistake parents make, at least in the beginning of the process, is not understanding the importance of "fit." We're too worried about our kids getting into the prestigious school -- whether it's the right school for our kids is not important.

Changing one's mindset isn't easy. And unfortunately the US News & World Report college rankings play right into that sort of thinking. As he puts it, these rankings answer the question, "What's the best college?" But the question should be, "What's the best college for me?" He gives kudos for the amount of data collected for the reports, but suggests that it would be much better if the data were used by a student who had his own weighting system.

The good news he shared? Fiske thinks that colleges are doing a far better job orienting kids to college through special programs and seminars. And he has found that colleges as a whole are paying far more attention to undergraduate research.

Nobody's bragging about party schools anymore. Now that's a huge improvement!

Finally, Good News About Some Colleges' Costs

I've got to hand it to Seton Hall University. It has figured out a way to gain some positive headlines, enhance the quality of its student body and demonstrate that maybe the cost of attending college doesn't have to rise every blessed year.

Here's the story. If candidates for admission to the Hall have a combined 1200 on the SAT in math and verbal and graduate in the top 10 percent of their class, they will be eligible to pay about $10,000 in tuition -- in direct competition with the cost of Rutgers -- at a savings of $21,000 over the usual Seton Hall tuition. If the student maintains a 3.0 average each year, that reduced rate will remain in effect throughout their time at SHU.

My questions: if it is that easy to lower tuition, why don't richer schools do it? And, a related question, will other students' fees go up to subsidize this new program?

But wait, here's another innovative concept, at Randolph-Macon College. Randy Mac now offers a guarantee of graduation in four years. Here are the stipulations: the student has to keep up with coursework, meet with advisers (and not change their major senior year, or take a year off, etc.) If so, the college guarantees graduation in four years -- and if a needed course isn't available or bad advice is given, the school will foot the bill for the courses needed to graduate.

This is a big deal, since today only 80% of students in private colleges graduate in four years; the number goes down to 50% for public colleges. So when the four years are exceeded, it's that much more for tuition, that much more in loans.

There is a sense of grandstanding about both schools' actions -- but maybe we need more gestures of this sort to get us all thinking about how this college cost thing might be dealt with more creatively.

Any ideas?

The Science of Applying to Art and Music Schools

You think the personal essay is tough? Imagine what it's like to apply to an art school or conservatory. It means providing a portfolio or recordings or possibly auditioning. That sounds pretty scary to me.

Kids involved in the arts can talk to their counselors and arts/music teachers for tips. But if you are at sea about what might be requested, take a look at this collection of tips.

It's basic, but will get you and your teen thinking about college vs. conservatory, or art school vs. a college with a great fine arts department. And here are some additional points to remember about the arts application process, including my favorite: "Parents, take a chill pill."

That means in this gyrating and ugly economy, many parents want their kids to major in something practical, that will lead to a good job. And they fear that will not be the case with the arts. But, arts students are generally skilled at presenting and are accustomed to taking and acting on criticism.

So, applause for the arts!


Karen Horton blogs at NJ.com/Parental Guidance

Getting Your Head Around Those Applications

Ah, how to answer some critical questions on college applications.

Our teen isn't at this point yet, but here's Q&A that addresses some issues I hadn't thought of, from whether to indicate a major (yes, if you have one); does the student have to indicate the other schools being applied to (no); some hints on writing the Common App essay; and how to explain to a college that a student has learning disabilities.

So, though it's still summer, it's not too early to start thinking about these questions, and discussing the topic with your teens.

After all, everyone can think more clearly when not under the pressure of a deadline.

How Do They Do It? One School on Merit Scholarships

Here are some insights on how one head of admissions/financial aid gives out merit money.

This example represents just one school, the University of Rochester. But it may give us all a look at the process of apportioning largesse. Imagine this: Just for expressing serious interest through interviews, discussions with financial aid people, etc., can be worth $3000. Every "A" grade nets $62. Coming from outside New York State, well, that's good for $2,000.

So on days when we are all worried about money and portfolios, it's good to know that colleges may be looking out for our kids, and our purses.

Virginia's Struggle with In-State, Out-of-State Balance

Some states have what seems to be an enviable problem: colleges that kids from other states really want to attend. One of the most obvious examples is Virginia -- particularly the University of Virginia and William & Mary. A long time ago William & Mary rejected me. Sounds as if it would be no different today.

These schools are so popular that in-state families complain about the inability of their children to be accepted. And sometimes they blame the out-of-staters, as described here. A state legislator wants to put even greater restrictions on the numbers of accepted students from out of state.

It's a real problem. Here in New Jersey, it is becoming increasingly difficult to get into state colleges because the economy is forcing students who might normally have gone elsewhere to stay in their home state. We don't seem to have the influx that Virginia faces.

As easy as it is to understand the frustration of Virginians who see carpetbaggers coming in and taking their kids' spaces, it's also true that college should be a horizon-expanding experience -- and that would include gaining the viewpoints of students from all over the country, and the world.

What do you think? Should state schools be more restrictive when it comes to who's accepted?

Try, Apply and Never Look Back -- Good Advice for College and Life

Try, apply and never look back. What great advice! I found this gem at the end of this list of myths about college.

The gist of this advice, by Steve Loflin, founder and CEO, National Society of Collegiate Scholars, is that if teens are interested in a particular school, they shouldn't let the belief they can't afford it or can't get in stop them from applying. Instead, teens should do their best and see what happens. You'll have more regrets if you don't try than if you do. And if you give it your best shot, you might get in; if you don't, you move on to the school that wants you. Loflin even noted that some recruiters or potential employers ask where the applicant applied to college, finding that as revealing as where they attended.

Of course, parents may be realists and understand the likelihood is slim for admission to a certain school. And of course it would be foolhardy to apply only to those schools considered a reach. But maybe sometimes parents should keep their pragmatism to themselves. Hey, you never know.

Sallie Mae Has Some Issues

So be sure to do a little investigation before you get too involved with her. Sallie Mae is, according to the website, "the nation’s No. 1 financial services company specializing in education." This corporation has 23 million customers, provides loans, tuition payment plans and other products to help students pay for college.

Sallie Mae, listed on the New York Stock Exchange, is also big business, managing or serving $238 billion in education loans and administering $37 billion in 529 college savings plans.

I am particularly bothered by one bullet in a recent mailing: "Get the money you need. Borrow up to 100% of your school certified costs of education." There's nothing in this mailing that counsels on the downside of college debt -- particularly what could well be more than $100,000 if indeed a student elects to cover all costs through Sallie Mae loans.

It also does a lot of marketing, with direct-to-student mailings. And a lot of people -- students, parents, co-signers -- have had lots of problems dealing with the company's aggressive collection techniques, as just some rudimentary Googling reveals.

The company also has a tuition refund insurance policy that will give a family back tuition money if an ill student must pull out of college. The policy returns all the money for illness or injury but only 75% for mental health-related withdrawals. Read this article to learn more.

It might not be a bad policy -- the article argues that it may be too generous -- but think carefully before signing up, particularly since mental health issues are the primary reason kids withdraw from college.

Hard Evidence on Financial Value of College

Who knew? Dishwashers, childcare workers and hairdressers are among the group of workers who receive a significant salary increase just by going to college, up to an 83 percent increase for dishwashers who went to college vs. colleagues who did not. These findings are discussed here in an op-ed by David Leonhardt.

We're definitely at a point where all sorts of experts are wondering if college really pays off, particularly at a time of high unemployment and equally high debt loads for graduates. This year college loan debt is higher than credit cards, reaching a trillion dollars. A college grad with loans averages about $24,000.

I've argued that it is a major loss to the U.S. that we don't value and pay skilled technicians more, so that there can be actual, respected career paths for woodworkers and plumbers and electricians. But that is not the case, and we are left with this situation: "Sending more young Americans to college is not a panacea," says M.I.T. economist David Autor. "Not sending them to college would be a disaster."

Leonhardt's final assessment on whether college is necessary rings true. He describes those skeptical about the value of college as well meaning people, almost always with college degrees who are going to make certain their kids go to college.
"But in the end," he says, "their case against college is an elitist one -- for me and not for thee. And that's rarely good advice."

The Search for Scholarships Can Yield Decent Results

I've heard so many people say there are lots of scholarships out there; you just need persistence in looking for them. I thought it was an urban myth and it has seemed like a waste of time to me, time better spent working on homework or personal essays.

One young man went on a serious scholarship quest, netting more than $22,000 in 22 scholarships ranging in size from $500 to $4,000.

OK. Maybe I was wrong.

I was impressed at his approach and his organizational skills in tracking these scholarship opportunities. But part of me wished he'd been as successful at applying to schools as to getting money. He had good grades and a good story - he'd worked one summer in South Africa. Yet he was only accepted by two of the eight schools to which he applied.

But he helped me see two advantages to the scholarship hunt I'd never considered.
-- Since most of the scholarships were local, he was interviewed by people in the organizations offering them; he gained lots of interview experience.
-- He had to write essays for most of the applications. Again, worthwhile practice, with a purpose.

So give the scholarship search a shot. There's no harm and it's possibly a good and lucrative experience.

Why Can't Americans Teach Their Children How to Speak -- Other Languages

I am embarrassed to be an American when we travel -- on my own behalf and on behalf of my country. Europeans are often fluent in several languages. When we were in Spain recently, even shopkeepers in tiny produce stores could communicate with us. We at least tried to respond in our host country's tongue.

Our daughter did well - she was able to understand several speakers and managed to conduct several transactions on her own. The trip certainly made her more confident and she enjoys Spanish. But when I hear people move effortlessly from one language to another, I am jealous and humbled.

I took French and German in high school -- and got great grades. I could read and write (somewhat) but I could not confidently speak -- and I'd say I have lots of company. Just think of the hours all of us have spent in language classes. What do we have to show for it?

Now, New York State's famously tough Regents tests will, after this year, no longer measure what's been learned in French, Spanish and Italian classes. You can still take classes, but there will be no statewide gauging of success. And I just learned that the Spanish lit class our high school offers as a final, in-depth study of the language, will likely be cut for budget reasons.

I doubt that when our teens head off to college that their skills will improve. Why are we such a nation of language louts at a time when clear communication becomes more and more critical?

Je ne sais pas.

No Meritocracy at the Top Colleges

Is college admissions to the nation's top schools rigged? Need only the affluent apply?

I certainly don't believe it's rigged in any classic sense but there sure are inequities. And these lead to a class/economic divide.

No matter the occasional heart-warming stories of smart, plucky kids from poor neighborhoods making it to the big time of the Ivies; no matter the daydreams of middle class kids with the grades and scores to get them into a highly selective school. The top colleges, for the most part, select students whose image reinforce the notion that elitism is alive and well.

As this column points out, the president of Amherst, Anthony Marx, decided others needed a chance, too, and created a model that encouraged more low-and middle-income students to attend. Why did he think a change necessary. Marx mentions a Georgetown study that found that the class of 2010 at 193 of the most selective colleges had only 15 percent of students from the lower half of the U.S. income spectrum, while 67 percent came from the top 25 percent in income.

One of the significant changes Marx made was to admit transfer students primarily from community colleges.

More schools are looking at how to diversify while still having an exceptionally gifted student body. Cheers to the colleges who are working hard at being more fair.

My High School Does Walk of Shame

I have always been proud of my education at Western High School in Baltimore, the oldest all-girls public high school in the country. When I went off to college, I was as prepared academically as fellow freshmen from private schools. Good school, great teachers, a character and confidence-building experience.

But Western has really screwed up this year. First, there was a guidance department failure, it appears. Transcripts and related materials were not sent to the colleges the girls applied to. As a result, the students might not have gotten into the schools of their choice.

But that, to my mind, is not the worst thing Western did. Get this. It had a rule that only girls heading to four-year colleges could walk in the graduation procession. Even if they met all requirements for graduation, even if they are headed to a community college or into a profession.

At a time when students are graduating from college in debt, when we know that one size does not fit all when it comes to post-high school graduation and that community college can be a fine option, the Western rule was insane.

PS: the rule was suspended and all graduates were able to walk in the grand procession, as one group, proud graduates of Western High.

*** Also follow my posts at NJ.com's Parental Guidance section.

Soon It Will Be Summer, But Don't Forget Thoughts of College

As much as teens need a break from the early morning risings and pressures of homework and projects, they can't shove thoughts of college too far back. Summer is a great time to think about schools and what kind of place might make sense.

Here's an overview, particularly geared to juniors. From thinking about which colleges to visit to mapping out a testing schedule. After all, do you really want to take SATs at the same time you're taking AP and subject tests?

The truth is, I can't remember when I started thinking seriously about colleges. But there was enough time to visit a number of colleges. And that, as the article above points out, is really important. The more contact with the school, the better.

***

You can also follow my thoughts on admissions on NJ.com.

Happy Mother's Day to all Moms -- Especially Those with College-bound Kids

Don't we all wish we'd appreciated our parents more? And if we did appreciate them, did we let them know it?

Because of the blog, I think about college a lot. And recently I've been thinking back to a long ago Mother's Day, when I graduated from college. My mother was so proud of me, and so thrilled to have such a momentous event occur on her day.

She deserved the happiness. She and my dad had worked hard/budgeted carefully to pay for college. And four years later, they had their very own Duke graduate. I remember that I did not share the absolute elation. I didn't have a job lined up yet and I would be heading back home to Baltimore, clueless about my future. Why do I suspect I didn't tell my parents how grateful I was.

I've found a stash of the many letters my mom sent me while I was at school. They were filled with the everyday stuff about her friends, my grandparents, how work was treating my dad, how my brother was doing in high school. I understand now how much she missed having me around -- the letters were a surrogate for face-to-face chat.

And I apparently expressed anguish about some difficult classes and even about my social life. She offered good, straightforward good advice. There were also letters in which she was upset with me -- about something in a previous note, or something I said on the every Sunday phone calls. Who knows what foolishness I said at 18, or even 20.

I am already wondering how I will react when our one and only child heads to college. I sure hope I have things to keep me busy. I miss her already.

But I still have plenty of time to drive her crazy, and she will sweetly reciprocate. My mother's day gift to my child -- maybe I will start some form of meditation so that I can remain calm in times of deadlines and angst. So that I can be, at all times, a good, supportive mom through the challenges ahead. Involved but not suffocatingly so. Questioning but not tormenting. Understanding but firm. All the usual mom stuff, multiplied by a thousand.

Happy Mother's Day!

Excuses, Excuses

Mom's College Cram Course has not disappeared. It's just that I have been spreading my wings as a blogger on college admissions issues for NJ.com -- and true to form, have struggled a bit in the past week with the mechanics of a more complex blog program.

But dear reader, you will continue to see my musings and concerns here. And please let me know what's on your mind when it comes to all things college.